This was supposed to be the American Music Awards shrouded in controversy.

 This was supposed to be the night AMA executive producer Dick Clark would get his digs in against the Grammy Awards folk, whom he accused of blacklisting artists -- namely, Michael Jackson -- that appear on Clark's show.

 So where was the controversy?

 If you thought the presenters, hosts Sean "P. Diddy" Combs and Jenny McCarthy or any of the winners would become mouthpieces for Clark, think again.

 Throughout that so-called backstage melodrama, the King of Pop simply accepted his Artist of the Century award, said some thank-yous and ...

 Abrupt ending. Good night, y'all.

 Is that what the hypemeisters called controversy? What is this, sweeps month? See the AMA 'controversy' on ABC (CTV in Canada) instead of that repeat of Jacko's 30th anniversary special on CBS? Talk about letdown central.

 More worthy of fussing: Clark's poorly scripted 'let's wear the same sparkly blue dress as Jenny McCarthy,' the resurrection of that former MTV bimbette and, for family values' sake, the bleeped-out discouraging words from them nasty rapper dudes.

 Perhaps a post-Sept. 11 ultimatum was handed to Clark and pals: Keep presentations at the 29th Annual American Music Awards short, tightly and slickly scripted, and tell all the artists to check their oomph at the door. That meant keep busty Pamela Anderson seated. Britney, no snakes or 'slave' behaviour. Only Usher can strip his shirt off, but that's it. Boring!

 Once again, this scribe must deliver the reality-check of last night's awards. In no particular order, the winners are:

 SUBTLE NETWORK PLUG AWARD: Lenny Kravitz performed Dig In wearing a fox stole. Fox? Get it? Uh, Lenny, the ceremony was aired on ABC.

 BEST LANGUAGE AWARD: Three-way tie between "Whassup," "Y'alls" and P. Diddy's "Shout-Outs."

 JUSTI(N)FYING HER LOVE AWARD: Britney Spears pours her heart out singing Not A Girl. Boyfriend Justin Timberlake awards her a standing O. And to celebrate, they'll kiss each other and ... now, now, that's after they wed.

 HIGHER POWER AWARD: Though newest runner-up Dick Clark showed potential, he was hardly any match against God!

 BEST COMMERCIAL APPEAL: Britney? Destiny's Child? Nelly Furtado? Actually, the winners were the Barenaked Ladies' promo clips for the Juno Awards.

 BEST AMA QUIP: 'N Sync, upon beating out U2 for favourite band, duo or group -- Pop or Rock 'N' Roll: "Aw, quit booing. U2's going to get Grammys."

 FAVOURITE NELLY AWARD: Nelly the rapper 1, Nelly the Furtado 0. (More on: Michael Jackson).